well, got scolding from mom. actually she's not, she just want me to be good.

i took money from her, cheat. giro receipt this time, my so called dad went to tell her. she realised that she need to pay for the amount for two times. asked me to off the comp, talk to me, speak every single words out of her heart. then i realised, my so called dad and my mom, is not on good terms, they never talk to each other after my grandfather passed away. why? because of money. realistic, they quarrel over money. i take n level, he not suppose to pay for it?

mom said that, she and so called dad is over already. maybe they just hang on because of us, the family. she also said that, my temper say as him, angry, dont talk, keep quiet. got trouble, never say, keep quiet. sad, never say, cry alone. i realise my mom know me well. if only i realise it earlier...

then she told me, she's trying to treat me very good already, what i want she give, she know i cheat her money for very long already, but she didnt want to tell, she know i grew up, i have my dignity. if this happen to somebody else, their parent will beat them up like minced meat. then everytime she nag me, she will say :"no more next time." i swear i cry the moment she said that.

"which mom will let her daugther out so late? 12am still let the daughter go downstair find friend?" i dont now about others, but my mom, she allow me, always. even if i dont want to go home, she's okay with it. i just need to reach home by the next morning. she also told me that, next time if i want to go out, go home changed then go out, if not weekend go out better, until what time she dont care.

i love my mom, my sister, my grandmother, my grandfather. how i wish she got me a better dad. life is not perfect, never will it be. now i need to bear with it, till the world ends. i'm suffering, but who understand? this world is realistic, yet love is innocent.

i love you silly mom.